Randolph Country Club

Of course I had a nice time once I finally got to RCC. As has happened in the past, forces conspired to get me there a little later than I would have liked. I foolishly didn’t bother to check the bus schedule and ended up waiting on the street at Ashmont for a full hour, for example. Arrived 11:15 maybe? So, it was okay really.

The was the first official roll call party after it had been closed for renovations, so we were all expecting a nice crowd. It wasn’t exactly a huge crowd, but lots of familiar and fun people came. Rachel, at RCC for her first time, and Wendy were the first I spotted when I walked in the door. I breezed by them, and also by Daphne and Erica, explaining that I had to get dressed. I’d learned that the route down to RCC on public transportation isn’t suitable for evening wear, so I was traveling in jeans and sneakers, but I carried a nice dress and heels in my bag. A few minutes in the ladies room downstairs, my bag stashed in the coat check room, and I was a happy girl. Oh, I’ll be sure to slight somebody by doing this, but I’ll try to name names here. I really enjoyed talking with Manny. He so sincerely listened and wanted to know all about my cancer. Gosh, what a sweetheart. He also bought me my only drink of the night, a non-alcoholic one as I’m starting to baby my liver in preparation for cancer treatments. Of course Vonnie was there and was her wonderful gracious self, asking about me and everything. Later in the evening I liked introducing Vonnie to Trista, who was there for the first time. Trista I had met long ago at Sisters of Boston but hadn’t seen since. She was being shy but looked great and I think she was enjoying just hanging out and watching. I complimented her appearance a couple of times, but bit my tongue to not point out the little things I noticed she had improved since that night at Sisters of Boston. I just didn’t know what was appropriate to say! You don’t talk about past mistakes, do you? The same thing happened with Lindsey. Her hair looked so much better than when I saw her the previous week at TCNE. What to say? Mm, who else? I also saw Shenna when I first walked in and waved at her from across the bar. She almost comically waved back verrrry slowly, probably trying to figure out who I was or if I was really waving at her. Annette, Tanya, Lisa were there. Paula was there for her first time. Melissa, I recognized from behind, but then couldn’t remember her name until I approached her and saw her face. So strange how memory works! Sadly, Lace couldn’t be there to dance. She had posted to FoRCC that something had come up, so I replied that I would dance for her. I ended up dancing with only one person though, a crackup of a dirty dancer whose name I can’t quite remember now. She was having the time of her life with the griding and gyrating. I danced a few dances with her but could only take so much. (lol) Ah, and Stephanie, who was being so very kind as to let me crash at her place afterwards so I could take the bus home in the morning. Bleh. I’ll have to update this when a group picture gets posted. That will surely jog my memory.

My dress turned out to be a smash. People wanted to know where I got it and I said it was just a used hand-me-down from a friend, which was true, but I think not the best answer. Really it was a Jasmine Sola, which meant that it had contemporary sexy styling, and yes, I have to say, did look great. It was a deep purple color which played well with my black hair and pale skin. I loved looking at myself in the mirror in the ladies room, and also in the mirror wall on the dance floor when I was dancing. I wore it with my gold 2 1/2″ heels that I got for the play last month, a purple hair clip, and then just my silver bracelet and bronze watch that I wear every day. I also wore a floral scarf around my neck to somewhat cover my tracheostomy. The scarf did the trick well. A number of people indicated that they didn’t realize what I had under it.

At Stephanie’s place, we found April patiently waiting in the driveway. Poor thing said she had been there for about an hour. She was also hungry, suggested IHOP, and Stephanie and I agreed immediately. I was the pig there, ordering a huge omelet, pancakes, and a fancy soda drink. I learned just today from a doctor that the steroid I’m on for radiation treatments is a strong appetite stimulant. Well, that explained things! I’ll have to try to compensate…grrr. April, in contrast, ate like a sparrow. She’s been losing weight well and noticeably. I commented to Stephanie, then later April bragged about the waist measurement of her new pants. Of course I praised her for her health.

The trip home the next morning was interesting because it included a ride on the Mattapan trolley, which I had never even seen. I found interesting history at railroad.net and world.nycsubway.org. The ride was smooth, quiet, pleasant, comfortable, and scenic.

Last Dance

Slept very late Saturday, woke up, and it was time to start getting ready to go to Randolph Country Club. Incorrigible, aren’t I? A message on the answering machine from Daphne asked me to call. I know she had hoped to take me home with her after she got off work. I had promised to call and let her know and I hadn’t called. It was about 6pm when I called her back. I was done and ready to walk out the door. She was explaining that she had to fix some dinner, then get ready. Her second preference was that I ride with Stephanie, so I promised to call Stephanie. I got her on the phone grocery shopping, saying that she would be home in half an hour to fix dinner and get ready to go out. I thanked her, but made it clear that I was headed straight to the club on my own.

Getting there was relatively uneventful, but I did get some negative attention on the train ride toward Ashmont. A group of teenagers was delirious with laughter. I got the idea that they generally found something funny to laugh about on their way home, and today it was simply my presence that was providing a good part of their amusement. A couple of guys felt the need to look tough in the face of this outing of a tranny and one of them threw a punch in the air as walked by me to get off of the train, saying “fucking dude!” That was the end of that, but it left me thinking of the nonsense in his exclamation. I imagined a little scene where he said that without running away and I came back with “dude? are you fucking blind?” “You see this guy here?” as I gesture to the tough looking guy next to me, “This is a dude. Now, you see the difference?” “Dude,” pointing to him. “Tranny,” gesturing to myself. Now you wanna tell this guy to his face that you think he’s the same as me? Let me step aside first.” *sigh* Imagination is fun. With the cowardly hater off the train, attention turned to a guy rapping at the far end of the car. He was up for a battle but with no one on the train stepping up to contest him, he was just targeting riders at random. I was watching him of course. He hadn’t seen me. The big guy next to me offered me reassurance, “He’s harmless, he’s just an artist.” “Yeah, and he’s got no competition here” I added, paying respect to the rapper.

Around 8:30, I was, in fact, the first t-girl to arrive at RCC. Yeah, for once I was there early and would have lots of time to visit. I sat at the bar with the crowd of regulars for not long at all before the first girls showed up, the “New York” girls, (although they’re not all from New York) Paige, Katie, Katie, and Brit. After wandering around a bit, we settled at table. I had forgotten Brit, but she remembered me. Paige had forgotten me, but I remembered her. That kind of thing is all fine and understandable when you just meet briefly at these things. These four are young and pretty and have dazzling wit. I, *sigh*, don’t quite fit in with them, but they were happy to adopt me for a bit. And a bit is all it was before girls I knew better started streaming in the door. One surprise was Terri. I thought she was in Florida. Another very nice surprise was Jean. I kept up then, for most of the night, noticing each girl that came in and making some time to talk with her. One, Gina, turned out to be at RCC for the first time. I called Vonnie over to meet her and the two of them had a nice long conversation. Vonnie also told me all about the RCC Halloween party and I confessed to her where I was over Halloween. I think Stephanie got there 10ish, and Daphne 11ish. One girl I was very glad to meet and talk to for a bit was Lace. I explained to her amusement my theory of how she was my great aunt because she had been dressing and coming to parties like this so much longer than me. I also found her later on the dance floor by herself and I dance for a few minutes with her. Mm, experience shows. Her movement is beautifully fluid. I so wish I could do that. The night before at Rumor, one of the girls was even trying to coach me at one point, modeling movements and grabbing my hips to show me how I should be moving. *sigh* Now see? That’s the way to learn. No inhibition, just practice, practice, practice. I bought one drink for myself. Jean bought me one, and, was that all? Someone else might have bought me one but I can’t remember. I think Wendy offered but then didn’t. I did ask Wendy for a ride home though, and she obliged. My head was clear enough that I was remembering that I needed to be back at my office by noon in case the girl from the co-op was going to call me back. We kind of took the long way back before dropping me off at Alewife. At Wendy’s place, she offered…Champagne! She popped the cork, we drank and talked and finished the bottle and slept very well. At the train station finally, she pushed some money into my hand. I sincerely tried to decline, but she insisted. I love my friends. They’re keeping me alive right now.

At my office around 11:30 Sunday, there was no word about a phone call. I waited. I sat around all afternoon and went home in the evening all sad and depressed.

CD Aunts and Grandmothers

Saturday the plan was going to the FoRCC roll call party with Daphne. I met her at South Station when she got off work at 3:00, we went back to her place. We got to RCC at 11:15. I was pretty frustrated, but couldn’t complain because I hadn’t communicated my wishes to her plainly enough. What I should have said is that I really hoped to get there early so as to have lots of time to seek out and get to know better some of my CD “aunts and grandmothers”—girls that are like a generation or two ahead of me in CD time. You know what I mean? You start going out as a new CD and you’re like a teenager. Wild and exuberant and daring and exploring and testing limits. You do that for a period—a year or two, I think, and then you move out of adolescence into your CD “young adulthood” you’ve got some social skills now, you’ve mastered your look and your personality, you might even have a reputation(!), but you probably haven’t quite found your place in the world. You might drift away from your first social circles, find new ones, you might go back to your roots. Then, if you’re lucky, you settle down in whatever part of the TG landscape feels best to you. Some of these girls were at RCC, and most of them I don’t know very well yet. Me, I’m kind of graduating from my teenage phase, I think, and looking for new horizons. I’d love to listen to wisdom of some of my elders at this point. *sigh*

So, 11:15 didn’t leave enough time for that. Vonnie was wonderful to me, as she has been. I had a nice time talking with Paula. She was so happy to realize that it was Daphne and I that were dating. Dianna, I stood and listened to her tell one story, and I gave her a hug goodnight when she left. That’s all I really wanted to hang around her more. Junie, I embarrassed myself in front of. It’s only been like four times that I’ve met her now, so I was pretty sure I knew who she was, but it was late, I’d had a couple of drinks, and I blurted out, “who are you?” “I’m June Casad”, she said in a very sincere voice and looking into my blurry eyes. *sigh* I think she knew I was struggling. Lace? I still don’t know who that is. I hear she was there. *sigh* Still just a name to me. Crap, crap, I’m still so bad at meeting people and getting to know them. < Oh, one girl I really liked meeting was Denise, but I just met her at the end of the night and was drunk and just got an introduction and a picture with her. I wish I knew how to contact her now. She looked so advanced in transition. Really, I can’t imagine her passing as a guy.

I liked seeing Amy Avalon there. I’d been thinking about her just recently. And then I didn’t get to talk to her except to say hello goodbye. I love her because so far, while I’ve been in my “teens” I’ve thought of her as being in the generation just ahead of me and I’ve looked up to her. She’s past her teens, and into that more sober phase of finding her place in the world. How do I know? Well, people tell stories of how she was just like me, going out every week, going dancing, and then she started appearing at fewer CD events. That when she did, she would show up with unshaved legs sometimes. I know I’ve seen her lots of different ways, from looking very finished and perfect, to…male mode! I’ve heard her talk about how she’s considered FFS, and thought hard about where she was and where she wanted to go next. Very cool stuff, and always, I’ve thought, facing just the sorts of issues that I’ll be facing myself before long. How did she look Saturday? In a very short and very flirty black skirt that was tiered and lacy. Like, how fun for a Saturday night with the girls?

Hmm, what else? Wendy and Natasha both bought me drinks. I talked with Terri for a bit. There was a Diane there that was a good friend of Terri’s. I said hello to Dahlia, Jonelle, Winnie, Mellisa, Nadia. Talked with Wendy, Erica, Danielle. Saw Dina leave looking very drunk. Ashley didn’t show up. Omg, not fair…I know there were lots of other girls I talked to but forgot to mention here.

Sunday with Daphne was about as lazy as a day gets. We napped, ate, napped, ate, and basically did nothing. It was nice. The weekend with Daphne was nice, but sadly with too much tension. Daphne and I both have money problems, roommate problems, and health problems. Both of us are kind of sick with worry about problems that we’re not dealing with well. Both of us are kind of wondering about our relationship together. With all that though, it was nice. It was a weekend together.

Triangles girls

After the birthday party, there was no rest for me. I was off to catch the train and then the bus to Stephanie’s, and then to ride with her over to RCC for a non- roll call Saturday evening. This means there weren’t many people there, but there was a small contingent of “Triangles girls” visiting. There were, I think, ten of us all together. Katie, Katie, Brit, and Nicole, Annette, Me, Stephanie, Daphne, Dahlia, Oh, and that other girl I can’t remember her name! Grr.

Another side of RCC

Sunday, do I have to say we slept really late? We had cake for breakfast sometime in the middle of the afternoon, and then it was already time to start getting ready to go out again for the evening. Daphne and I were headed back to RCC, this time for a drag king show that was a benefit for Network La Red. While Daphne dressed, I looked through her photo albums of past drag performances. Such a different world. Such amazing clothes and makeup. Someday I’ll learn all of that. It seems so far off now. It’s a magic that I don’t know. At the show, it was fun again to see some of the Imperial Court friends that I’m slowly getting to know. The show was fun and very entertaining, if a little long. At the end of the night, poor Daphne was exhausted. The car ride back to her place was pretty scary as it was a struggle to keep her awake. I, at least, was alert, and did my best to stimulate her with conversation, and occasional tickles on the leg to keep her eyes open. We lived, we got home, we slept in each other’s arms for the second night in a row.

Happy Birthday…Vonnie

Much of Saturday (July 28) went to baking my birthday cake. Daphne had taken the initiative a couple of weeks earlier to announce on the FoRCC list that it was my birthday and that we would be celebrating this Saturday at the party at Randolph Country Club, and she went on to ask what I wanted for my birthday. I suppose I could have answered with humor, but I really didn’t want anyone to feel compelled to bring a gift or even a card, so I said that all I wanted was lemon cake. A few days ago then, I was thinking how no one was going to get me a cake, so I decided it would be fun and silly to bring my own cake.

The cake itself turned out ok. I made two 11×17 layers, made a lemon creme filling, iced it with a lemon icing. The icing was from a can but everything else was from scratch. Tony conveniently called in the afternoon and I was quick to ask him for a ride, so the problem of getting the cake there was solved.

At RCC fairly early, it was nice to have time to start the evening with a drink and then see everyone as they arrived. Vonnie arrived fairly early as well and I had a really nice time talking with her. There was a little time then when I walked away from the crowd and sat alone for a bit, but not for too long. There really were lots of people I wanted to socialize with and, unlike the last RCC party, this time I got to most of them. I did miss a few: I waved hello to Terri, but then never went back to talk with her. Also, Junie is one that I’ve barely traded introductions with, but who I think I would like to get to know better. We seem to have lots of common friends and they all speak so fondly of her. Once again, I spent all my time talking and didn’t dance a bit.

A little surprisingly, my cake ended up not being eaten well. I speculated that maybe people were there to drink and socialize and it was just weird to have a cake there. Also, you know, if was seriously trying to commandeer a party that wasn’t mine for the purpose of getting attention or something, that would be pretty weird too. I’m afraid Ashley kind of played into that a little when I gave her time to get the microphone and go up on stage and announce that we were celebrating my birthday, and then drag me up on stage as well. It would have been better to just cut the cake and leave a sign on the table that everyone was welcome to have a piece. And in retrospect, I could have handled it all better when I was given the microphone. I could have explained that for me, the birthday was all about the excuse to bake and eat a cake, but that I needed *lots* of help eating it, so please feel free to have a piece.

Worst of all, in retrospect, was discovering a couple of days later that it was Vonnie’s birthday as well. Oops. Big oops. *sigh* Call me an air head.

Best of all, was going home with Daphne at the end of the night.

Summer love

Nearly two months since my last post. I don’t know why. I do have a lot of notes from June. I’ll add them later and just write a couple of little things for now.

In my last post I wrote about seeing Daphne at RCC on May 26th. I guess that’s our day. Cuz…we’ve kind of been together since that day. Is it love? I don’t know… Sometimes we use the l-word. Not very often though. I think it’s a little bit new and different for both of us. Maybe because of that we’re both being a bit cautious. I just counted though and it’s been 7 1/2 weeks. Something’s there for sure.

It wouldn’t be a Sonia post without documentation of a night of drinking though, so here was last night at least. I’d decided not to go to the FTMSOFFA gathering, I’d decided not to go to Sisters of Worcester, and I was just sitting in my room picking at my face when Stacy called and invited me over. I told her I’d be over after I ate. I fixed a nice dinner of a chicken sandwich, some cauliflower and some soybeans, went over to Stacy and Jessicas, and (um, with the way they were dressed) suggested that we go to Jacques.

We went and had nice time. It was nice to see Deanna still working there as cocktail waitress and talk to her for a bit. It was very nice to talk with an admirer there named Steve. Otherwise had a simple evening of hanging out with my girls and drinking beer.

Maria Party

I posted the following to the Friends of Randolph Country Club message board:

Maria and I had a great time and we took pictures to prove it! Ok really just two pictures taken with my cell phone at arm’s reach, but anyway, I posted them to a new album called “Maria Party.”

For anyone else thinking of throwing a weekday party at RCC, I’ll give you my experience here. First, do it! I highly recommend it. RCC is alive with atmosphere on weeknights and the staff and patrons are every bit as friendly as we know them to be on Saturdays. Second, um, we were a party of two. My playful party announcements weren’t enough to get our FoRCC members out on random week night. So, if you want to try this and seriously want a good turn out, you’ll have to do something different. Maybe send your friends personal invitations? Maybe just be more popular than me? *sigh* Some day I’ll have an entourage…

Really though, we did have a lovely evening.

See you all soon on a Saturday!
Sonia

Familiar with the route by now, I took the train and the bus to downtown Randolph, where Maria had agreed to pick me up. I arrived in the midst of a fierce thunderstorm and ducked into the Burger king to phone her and tell her I had arrived. While I waited, I ordered some little snack and set my dripping umbrella on a railing by my table. A few minutes later, Maria rang back to say she was a couple of blocks away. The downpour had ended as suddenly as it began and I ran out to meet her.

Yes, I, lost my umbrella. Dang it, it was my first girl umbrella and it was so cute! I think I’d only had it a few months. The day I bought it I was standing in CVS with an ordinary black umbrella in my hand, then thought to myself, “no, I can do better!” I put the generic umbrella back on the rack and walked around the corner to Mint Julep, a very girly boutique where I had seen umbrellas. So it cost two or three times as much. It was worth it to look good. I called Burger King the next day. No, they didn’t have it. As punishment, I bought my next umbrella at the liquidation store. It was a girl umbrella–I’ll never go back–but cost one tenth of what the boutique umbrella cost. Maybe looked it too. I dunno. The construction was really light weight and it only lasted about six months before falling apart. Probably the first umbrella I’ve ever had wear out before I lost it. Anyway, where was ?

Oh yes. Maria needed to finish dressing before going to RCC so we went to her hotel room first. It was the start of a really great evening of talking and sharing stories. Maria confided that she was really amazed that I showd up. Her experience, like mine, I’m afraid, had been that t-girl dates are often no-shows. I think she had already decided before hand that if I showed up at all, she was going to give me a gift. She had a few items of clothing with her that she had me try on. Most magnificent was a black leather Harley Davidson dress. That’s what she gave me, over my protests that it was far too nice of a gift. I protested, but didn’t refuse. Omg, I love it so much.

Conversation continued to the bar, where that was really the main activity of the evening. Maria, as it turned out, is a little shy about being dressed in public, and wasn’t looking for a wild night of partying, just a chill night out. RCC was just perfect for that. I’d been there enough that the staff kind of remembered me and was so friendly. Patrick, our bartender for the evening, brought us watermelon shots at one point. Maria got me on a bus home at a reasonable hour, with my wonderful gift in my tote bag.

Back in Cambridge before midnight, I followed my usual routine. Dropped off stuff at home, peed, and headed to Charlie’s. Thursday Charlie’s is open until 2:00. I was home at 2:30.